How do I handle holidays when my family still deadnames me?
Christmas is in three weeks. I am on HRT, I look different, and they keep using the old name "because it is easier". I want to be there for my niece but I leave every year feeling hollow. Do I skip it this year?
Set one rule before you go — "use my name, or I will politely step out when you don't" — and follow through calmly, every time. Boundaries that are announced but not enforced teach people they have three strikes. The first follow-through is the hard one; after that the room adjusts fast.
Short visits changed everything for me: two hours instead of two days, with an ally cousin's place nearby if I need air. Logistics are allowed to be part of self-care. You can love your niece and still refuse to be a punching bag — those are not in conflict.
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