Do I actually have to come out, or can I just live my life?
Everyone keeps telling me I should come out, but honestly I am fine just being me around the people who know. I do not owe long speeches to relatives. Is there some rule I am missing?
There is no rule. Coming out is not a ceremony you owe anyone — it is an ongoing, situational choice you make for the rest of your life.
Some contexts are worth it because they make your life better: close friends, a partner, a doctor who needs the full picture. Other contexts — judgmental coworkers, distant relatives — you are allowed to keep on a need-to-know basis. Privacy is not cowardice; in some situations it is wisdom.
The only real test: does telling this person make my life more honest and more free, or less safe? Answer that per person, and you are done.
The "you should come out" pressure usually comes from people who feel it is a milestone. For many of us it is not a milestone at all — it is admin. Do the admin where it helps you, skip it where it does not, and never let anyone guilt you into a conversation you are not ready for.
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