How do I talk to my school counselor about my name and pronouns?

Question

I have a meeting booked and I am terrified they will call my parents. I want to use a different name at school but I need to know who gets told first.

Priya · Accepted Answer

Start with the question "what do you keep confidential?" — their answer tells you exactly how much detail to share. Most counselors will not out you to parents without serious cause, but you deserve to hear the policy in their own words before you decide to trust it.

Sam · Answer

Bring a friend to wait outside and write the key sentence down before you go in — reading it beats improvising when your heart is pounding. Mine was: "I would like to use a different name at school, and I need to know who you will tell."