What pronouns do non-binary people use?

Short Answer

Non-binary people use whatever pronouns feel right for them — including they/them, he/him, she/her, neopronouns, or a mix. There's no single pronoun set "for" non-binary people.

The Most Common Options

• They/them: The most common gender-neutral pronoun set in English. Singular "they" has been in use since the 1300s.
• He/him or she/her: Many non-binary people use binary pronouns. A non-binary person using "she" is no less non-binary.
• Multiple sets (e.g., she/they, he/they): Often means both are welcome. Some people like being referred to with different sets by different people.
• Neopronouns (xe/xem, ze/zir, ey/em): Less common but equally valid.

How to Handle It

1. Ask: "What pronouns do you use?" is a normal, respectful question.
2. Don't assume: Appearance doesn't determine pronouns.
3. Share yours: Introducing yourself with your pronouns normalizes the practice.
4. Practice: If you mess up, apologize briefly and correct yourself. Don't over-apologize.
5. Don't test: Using wrong pronouns "to see" is harassment, not curiosity.