How do I find queer friends?

Short Answer

The best ways to find queer friends are: join community spaces, attend events, participate in online communities, and be willing to be the one who reaches out first. It takes time, but queer people are actively looking for community everywhere.

Where to Look

• Local meetups and events: Search for queer game nights, book clubs, hiking groups, or volunteer events in your city. Sites like Meetup and Eventbrite list them, and LGBTQ+ community centers are hubs.
• Online communities: Reddit (r/lgbt, r/AskLGBT), Discord servers, and queer subreddits are full of people seeking connection.
• Volunteering: LGBTQ+ organizations, shelters, and community centers always need help — and you'll meet like-minded people.
• Queer sports leagues: Stonewall Sports and local LGBT sports leagues are famously welcoming.
• Your hobbies: Queer book clubs, queer gaming groups, queer climbing meetups — there's a queer version of most hobbies.

How to Actually Make Friends

• Be consistent: Show up to the same events repeatedly. Friendships form through repeated contact.
• Reach out first: Ask for someone's contact info, suggest a coffee, propose a shared activity.
• Friendship apps exist: Bumble BFF and Meetup can work, and the upcoming Umbrella.lgbt will be built for exactly this.
• Be patient: Friendship takes time. Don't give up after one awkward event.

If You're in a Hostile Area

Online community can be a lifeline. Video calls, Discord, and virtual game nights allow you to build genuine queer community regardless of where you live. It's not a substitute for in-person connection, but it's real community — and it's a start.